Americans Assured They Can Sell Organs to Offset New Health Insurance Premuims

Washinton D.C.

In an effort to reassure constituants amidst sky rocketing health care costs, the Trump administration has released a plan that will offer them the option to auction off vital organs in order to compensate for the drastic price increase of their insurance.

Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt outlined their common sense position, noting "This administration believes the American people deserve the best medical care in the world, the kind afforded to our 1%, and those in every other developed nation, and if they work hard and sacrifice, they too can believe it's still a possibility."

While this visionary legislation was meat with harsh scrutiny, backed solely by emprical evidence and data, it remains the most pragmatic approach to fixing the issue, aside from the tedious task of addressing the inherently inept structures themsevles.

Leavitt continued: "By donating those extra organs, they're helping those in need, while at the same time benefiting financially. This is a win, win! What's more American?!"

Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was quick to offer his support assuring them organ donation is a perfectly safe, economical solution and "in fact, the only reason those organs don't grow back on their own was beacuse you were vaccinated."

However, the biggest take away remains that America is a land of opportunity, where things are earned, and this is a great opportunity for many to finally garner this type of treatment, rather than rely on govenrment handouts, or some inherently corrupt socalist system that fails to bankrupt hundresds of thousand of them annually. It's unfortunate many will not see the clarity of foresight here, as President Trump is striving to put the hos back in hospital, doing his utmost for the American people, while cynical, radical leftists conjecture this is the closest he's come to having a heart.